Try not to laugh #6 :) Difference between Normal English and GRE English

GRE NORMAL

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A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.

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NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

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NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
GRE STUDENT : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

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NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

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NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

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NORMAL PERSON : Beginner’s luck
GRE STUDENT : Neophyte’s serendipity.

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NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

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NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
GRE STUDENT : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

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NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

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NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

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NORMAL PERSON : There’s no use crying over spilt milk
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.

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NORMAL PERSON : You can’t try to teach an old dog new tricks
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

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NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
GRE STUDENT : Surveillance should precede saltation.

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NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

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NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

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NORMAL PERSON : Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!
GRE STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

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Smile Please :)

Smile Pleaseย ๐Ÿ™‚

Try not to laugh #2 :) US Employment Statistics

jokeFor a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 134 million are retired.

That leaves 103 million to do the work.

Of this there are 49 million employed by the federal government, leaving 52 million to do the work.

5.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 46.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 34,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 11.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 1,880,000 people in hospitals, leaving 9,520,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 9,519,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And you’re sitting at your computer reading jokes. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ™‚

Note : Lacks logic a lot, but funny ๐Ÿ™‚

Try not to laugh #1 :) Made for Each Other

One day, a man sees his wife is busy in the kitchen andย says:”Can I help?”

She says, “Sure, take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them and put them in a pot to boil.”ย And he does this ๐Ÿ™‚

half Potatoes

Another day the husband says to the wifeย “Please go buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados please buy six.”

The wife comes back with 6 cartons of milk and the husband asksย ” Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk”

“They had avocados” she replies.


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โ€œStory : Laughologyโ€ ( Well you readology to understandologyย ๐Ÿ™‚

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Husband / Wife – Love Test :) Pls Do Not Try this at Home!

couple and doggy

Who loves you more Your Spouse or Your Dog?

This is a simple test

1. Lock up Your Spouse in a room

2. Lock up Your Dog in another room

3. Go out for a movie andย ย Come back after three hours

4. Open the doors of both the rooms

5. Now you can find who shows affection and who barks at you! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜›

Note : PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! ๐Ÿ™‚