There she dances happily in the night rain
Dim street lights lit her path along,
Letting the rain drench her as she wish,
Enjoys the nature, as she always wanted,
“In the solitude”
Singing her sweet melody.
Please sing a different tune for “Crime Against Women”. Many in India presume this topic only to Rape! Which is one of many crimes against women. Why not we stop the typical bashing of the women’s dress code, men’s conduct? What else to think beyond strict laws? Why we need to think like that?
Let us keep it simple and hit the nail on the head here by critically understanding what happens, The missing perspectives to think on and the root causes. Finally, solutions. When we understand a problem, solutions fall in place. Without understanding there exists no solution!
Define Crime Against Women!
Rather defining something specific as crimes against women, we can define any crime as any act which hurts someone psychologically or physically or both, which is against the universal morality. Universal? Yes, because some culture or religions may bend the morality in their favor and forcibly makes the followers to accept immoral things as moral ones. You might have witnessed some morons arguing ‘honor killing’ as a moral act of saving their pride which was well accepted by their social group! This is what I mean as morality bending.
So whenever a woman becomes a victim of any crime, we can call it a crime against women. All crimes need not to be brutal or violent like rape or acid throws. There can be psychological crimes as well like verbal abusing, cyber crimes, etc. You can do the classification by listing all the crimes and differentiate which is psychological, physical and the both.
What happens when such crimes occur, the ultimate adverse effect is it changes the life of the victims completely. Shatters their dreams, love for life, wishes, family and their world changes forever. When a woman is forced to die or get killed, there is no such heinous crime we could imagine.
Where it all begins?
Crime against any woman / girl begins with an individual’s perspective about a woman! Notice, I said an individual-stressed, because it could be a man or another woman too. I am not just another person from Men-bashing group, I beg you to see this as a human being without gender bias.
When a society so the individual views a woman unequal to a man, there begins the first crime. You will try to take advantage of her in everything from that point onwards. This perspective of the missing 50:50 equality is the hidden nuke-like major problem.
Look at the map below, which reports from the least-safe to the safe countries for women.
Where-ever you find the 50:50 missing in the culture, you will find the safety levels low. So where equality is directly proportional to the crime rates. My country men advocate for 33% or whatever for women! It means that they are not willing to give equal rights and still they want to exploit them using the 17% extra edge!
So the beginning is inequality. As a female grow as a child, girl, woman and old-woman, they are exploited in stages in whatever possible manner and become victims of this inequality.
What Men need to Understand?
The same old proverb and the ultimate universal truth lesson first, “Treat Woman as a human being with kindness, because you have no place in this earth without her.” A ‘She’ is your mother, A ‘She’ is your wife, A ‘She’ is your sister and A ‘She’ can be a good friend too. So first have the right understanding about a woman. The primary problem, men cause women is for their body/beauty.
Oh Manly Men, Please kick the ass of the media and those cultures, which portray any woman as an object of pleasure or a treat to the eyes or a mere object of sex-symbol. If you have guts, show your changed attitude towards this media exploitation of women. Do not sit and enjoy it, just because they expose off and you have the rights to enjoy it. Believe me, your wrong attitude towards any woman could land your daughter or granddaughter in a highly dangerous society.
Most of us belong to this gender called MALE are hypocrites. You may find it hard to swallow, but accept it. There could be a lot different in the timeline of the crime list against women, if we, men truly valuing women as what we blabber outside. A simple question, when you are enjoying an actress’s cleavage show in a song or a movie, what are your values and guarantee that you do not do the same when an unaware girl bends down to pick something from the ground? I can see a hypocrite in men here.
So all such hypocrite men are potential threat to women, only they are subject to the suitable circumstances and escape opportunities. This is the skeleton, you draw out all the possible crimes done by men against women from this, rape, molesting, hidden cameras, verbal abusing, eve-teasing, workplace exploitation, blackmailing, persuading immorally etc.
The secondary problem, men cause of women is that you are unwilling to give up the comfort zone you enjoyed the entire history of the past. You dictate rules for women in everything right from her behaviour to decisions. You enjoyed the authoritative position and you do crimes in order to prevent her from becoming equal to you. Direct or indirect men do this crime in the name of culture, religion or disguised-morality.
Simple insight, men usually advise women to refrain from smoking and drinking, but they do it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging women to drink or smoke. What I mean is there is a lot of difference between “a man who himself does not smoke and he advises a woman not to smoke” and “a man who himself smokes and advises women not to smoke!”. The latter the majority of men does. He jumps to skies for culture decline, if he spots a woman drinking, while he himself was at the bar drinking liquor. 🙂
Overall, men need give up those unwanted pride, hypocrisy, and most important change the attitude towards women. You need not to worship them respectfully as women activists demand, just mutually value them equal and understand that you cannot exist in this world without them.
Real men need an attitude as a protector of any woman, that is why the nature’s made us stronger than women. Not to use that strength to exploit her.
– From a Tamil Film
What Women need to Understand?
Here comes the controversial part of this. As I belong to that gender, please do not try to put me in the enemy’s corner. 🙂 I have given some hard pills to swallow to the men, so expect some here as well.
First of all, understand one thing that you need not to beg anyone or fight men for your freedom! It is already there, take it. Bring a belief inside you that you are equal to men and do not demand for it every time. When you do not believe anything, how can you expect to become something? Look at all women achievers, they never positioned themselves inferior to men in their life. Either they were the ones who understood the equality or even dominated men. Nothing wrong, men dominated you for thousands of years, you can do it if you want so at least in that way let them get fear and come to a deal ’50:50′ !
Can you notice the attitude shift in my writing? From a harsh, bashing words to slightly light supporting tone? This is the weapon you women do have by nature. Your kindness speaks so stronger than a man’s strength. You can change anyone if you decide to do. Because every one of you are the first face for every life source in humans. Girl or Boy, it is you, the mother in you who can teach a child what the world is. When the world outside is so bad for women, why not you teach them the right values? Of course Father is there they also need to do this along with you, but he can never beat the bonding of love between you and your child. You are the first women of the child’s world. You can impact them, your character impact them. That’s why the entire history of humanity given a mother a shade of love. Yes, you women are.
But where it went wrong in your side? You do not know your potential, who you are. Who classified you as victims? As men are physically strong they are exploiting you? NO. You are mentally weak to believe in yourselves.
This lack of belief in you over centuries, eventually created a humongous social structure which allows men to exploit you in every possible way.
For instance, assume there is a free river, who can decide it’s flow, when there is no channels or dams in her path? The river can flow freely as she wishes. Say someone has built a small sand shutter in her path, what will happen, at the instance the free river would demolish it and go ahead on her way. What happens, if someone built a big rock dam? Well the river could be controlled for some time, but not forever. There are opportunists who make canals from the river for their benefit and forced the river to flow as tributary as well. So now what happened in this case. A free river is no more free, but to an extend only! If she floods everything that blocks her freedom will be cleared.
The Free River is You! Canals, Dams, sand shutters, are the society’s insistence on you. How much it takes for a river to flood down a dam? Same efforts needed to bring back your equality, because the society is used to this culture dominated by men (like dams) for centuries. So believe in yourself like a river that your freedom starts with your belief.
Never let anyone use you as an object of pleasure. Be honest and think, how many women are just letting themselves be used to get an extra edge over men? Many of the actresses are highlighted in films for their appearance! Believe me, you are the reason for letting men see you as an object of pleasure. My statement has an accordance with long history, not just the recent media exploitation of women.
When some culture was formed long back where a man can marry any no. of women or can have affairs, why women of those era have not raised a voice against it? When men went to get educated, why many women in history confined themselves to walls? Of course we cannot go back and change that. But why I am telling this is, women need to understand the history behind the crimes. This will make them a matured advocates of their rights. Because many women activists are just slogan risers against men.
Overall, Women need to understand is their true worth and change the image of ‘sex-symbol’ what the world impose on them. Deny it and force the world to change their opinion. Do not ever entertain any society, let you see like that.
What we need to do as a Society?
No more big explanations here, because for making someone understand something we may need to detail things. So when there is a clear understanding(at least somehow better understanding than before I believe), what need to be done will automatically bloom in minds.
To be precise, as a society we need to be responsible and give up the “I don’t care about others I do whatever I wish to do” attitude. Please think before you set any trend. Because it is going to define the culture of tomorrow. Our kids are going to follow us, they emulate our lifestyle. So be careful with everything you do. There always should be a responsibility behind every personal choice.
Set limits for everything. If it goes beyond limits there comes a problem along. Think on these lines. You need an example? I tell you. Rave Parties! I leave it to you in this.
Never try to impose your way of life on others, especially on women. Now a days smart crime is more, you do not rape a girl rather persuade her in some way, using her lack of awareness of consequences. This is cheaper than rape! To make someone trust and cheating them.
I never believe in laws and punishments as a long term solution. Of course we need them, even I would kill those 4 ba****s who raped and killed that girl in Delhi, if i get a chance. I would advocate for death sentence for them. But that is like a sand shutter to that problem, gets justice for that innocent girl, but not for all the women who live every day in fear.
Even on a rainy evening if a girl wants to enjoy the nature in solitude, she cannot do it in a country like India. Every time we send our girl to a next town, we carry a fear as a brother, a sister, a husband, a father, a mother and even as a good friend, we worry about her safety in my mind.
Last but not least, every society has a culture of their own, so women are free to choose theirs. I agree 100%. But any culture without a limit is always doomed! All of us know USA provides freedom to women a lot, you do a search in google for rape crimes and murders! That will tell you the story. Limitless freedom itself is not a solution. The solution is Individual responsibility and a cultured moral society.
Change yourself the world will change itself automatically. Do not expect a safe society for women tomorrow evening 5PM. It won’t happen, let us change, we imbibe change on others, maybe our children or their children will live a safe world with no crimes against women.
With hopes that I may see some day, some girl, may walk alone free in the rain, singing a melody and fade happily into shower of rain, on the dim shades of night street lights, I am concluding this long long write up. Thanks for reading 🙂