Crimes Against Women: In the Solitude of her Joy

There she dances happily in the night rain
Dim street lights lit her path along,
Letting the rain drench her as she wish,
Enjoys the nature, as she always wanted,
“In the solitude”
Singing her sweet melody.

Please sing a different tune for “Crime Against Women”. Many in India presume this topic only to Rape! Which is one of the many crimes against women. Why not we stop the typical bashing of the women’s dress code, men’s conduct? What else to think beyond strict laws? Why we need to think like that?  

Let us keep it simple and hit the nail on the head by understanding what happens, the missing perspectives to think on and the root causes. Finally, solutions. When we understand a problem, solutions fall in place, else not.

Define Crime Against Women! 

Rather defining something specific as crimes against women, we can define any crime as an act which hurts someone psychologically or physically or both and which is against the universal morality. Universal? Yes, because some culture or religions may bend the morality in their favor and forcibly makes the followers to accept immoral things as moral ones. You might have witnessed some morons arguing ‘honor killing’ as a moral act of saving their pride which is well accepted by their social group! This is what I mean as morality-bending.

So whenever a woman becomes a victim of any crime, we can call it a crime against women. All crimes need not to be brutal or violent like rape or acid throws. There can be psychological crimes as well like verbal abusing, cyber crimes, etc.

What happens when such crimes occur, the ultimate adverse effect is – it changes the life of the victims completely. Shatters their dreams, love for life, wishes, family and their world changes forever. When a woman is forced to die or get killed, there is no such heinous crime we could imagine.

Where it all begins?

Crime against any woman / girl begins with an individual’s perspective about a woman! Notice, I stressed it as an individual, because it could be a man or another woman too. I am not just another person from any men-bashing group rather I want you to see this as a gesture of humanity without gender bias.

When a society ill-treat women, the individual also considers a woman inferior to a man, there begins the first crime and that leads to taking advantage of her in everything right from that perception. The missing of 50:50 balance is the hidden ‘nuke-like’ major problem.

Look at the map below, which reports from the least-safe to the safe countries for women.

Wherever you find the 50:50 missing in the culture, you will find the safety levels low and hence equality is directly proportional to the crime rates. My country men advocate for 33% or whatever for women! It means that they are not willing to give equal rights and still they want to exploit them using the 17% extra edge!

Now, it’s obvious that crimes thrive where inequality exists.  Women are abused and tormented in every stages of their life; be a kid, girl, woman and they become victims of this inequality.

For men to Understand,

Treat Woman with kindness, as we have no place in this earth without her. A ‘Female’ is your mother, a ‘Female’ is your wife, a ‘Female’ is your sister and a ‘Female’ can be a good friend too.

The factor that fascinates most of the men towards women is their external beauty and that is again the factor which ironically a man reasons to abuse a woman.

Manly Men! Condemn media and those cultures, which portray any woman as an object of pleasure or a mere object of lust. Believe it or not, your wrong attitude towards any woman could land your daughter or granddaughter in a highly dangerous society, because women from your family will be seen with the same wrong attitude by the other men.

Usually society terms MALE as a hypocrite. It may sound harsh but accept it if it is true. The timeline of the crime list against women would be different, if men truly value women by actions and not just through words. For an instance, if a man could enjoy an actress with less dress on the screen in a song or a movie, what would be his values when it comes to approaching the common people around him in real time in the society?

Such hypocrite men are potential threat to women, subjected to the favorable circumstances and escape opportunities and the media on the other hand, grooms such a kind of society! Rape, molestation, hidden cameras, verbal abuse, eve-teasing, workplace exploitation, blackmails, to persuade immorally are things that has to be raised voiced against consistently.

Men are unwilling to give up the comfort zone they enjoyed the entire history of the past. They dictate rules for women, right from her behavior to her decisions. Men enjoys the authoritative position and do crimes taking advantage of it. They pursue crimes in the name of culture, religion or disguised-morality.

Simple insight, men usually advise women to refrain from smoking and drinking, but they do it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging women to drink or smoke. What I mean is there is a lot of difference between “a non-smoking man advising a woman not to smoke” and “a smoking man advising a woman not to smoke!”. The latter the majority of men does. He over reacts for cultural decline, if he spots a woman drinking, while he himself was at the bar drinking liquor.

Last but not the least, men must give up boasting, hypocrisy, and most importantly must change their attitude towards women. You need not to worship them as women activists demand, but at the least try to value them equal.

Real men need an attitude as a protector of any woman, that is why the nature has made men physically stronger than women.

– From a Tamil Film

For a women to Understand,

Here comes the controversial part. As men have been given some hard pills to swallow already, here are few for women as well.

First of all, women need not to plead anyone or fight against men for their freedom. It is there already, take it! Believe that you are equal to men and do not demand for it every time. When you do not believe anything, how can you expect to become something? Look at all women achievers, they never position themselves inferior to men in their life.

Can you notice the attitude shift in my writing? From a harsh, bashing words to slightly light supporting tone? This is the weapon you women do have by nature. Your kindness speaks so stronger than a man’s strength. You can change anyone if you decide to do. Because every one of you are the first face for every life source of humans. Girl or Boy, it is you, the mother in you who can teach a child what the world is. When the world outside is so bad for women, why not you teach them the right values? You are the first woman of any child’s world. You can impact them, your character can impact them.  That’s why the entire history of humanity has given a mother – a shade of love. Yes, you women are sign of love.

But where it went wrong in your side? You do not know your potential, who you are. Who classified you as victims? As men are physically strong they are exploiting you? NO. You are mentally weak to have a self-belief.

The lack of belief in you over centuries, eventually created a humongous social structure which allows men to exploit you in every possible way.

For instance, assume there is a free river, who can decide it’s flow, when there is no channels or dams in her path? The river can flow freely as she wishes. Say someone has built a small sand shutter in her path, what will happen, at the instance the free river would demolish it and go ahead on her way. What happens, if someone built a big rock dam? Well the river could be controlled for some time, but not forever. There are opportunists who make canals from the river for their benefit and force the river to flow as tributary as well. So now what happened in this case. A free river is no more free, but to an extend only! If she floods everything that blocks her freedom will be cleared.

The Free River is You! Canals, Dams, sand shutters, are the society’s insistence on you. How much it takes for a river to flood down a dam? Same efforts needed to bring back your equality, because the society is used to this culture dominated by men (like dams) for centuries. So believe in yourself like a river that your freedom starts with your belief.

Never let anyone use you as an object of pleasure. Be honest and think, how many women are just letting themselves be used to get an extra edge over men? Many of the actresses are highlighted in films for their appearance! Believe me, you are the reason for letting men see you as an object of pleasure. My statement has an accordance with long history, not just the recent media exploitation of women.

When some culture was formed long back where a man can marry any no. of women or can have affairs, why women of those era have not raised a voice against it? When men went to get educated, why many women in history confined themselves to walls? Of course we cannot go back and change that. But women need to understand the history behind the crimes. This will make them a matured advocates of their rights.

Overall, Women need to understand is true worth and do not ever entertain any society that treats you like an object of pleasure or lust

What we need to do as a Society?

As a society we need to be responsible and give up the “I don’t care” attitude. Please think before you set any trend. Because it is going to define the culture of tomorrow. Our kids are going to follow us, they emulate our lifestyle. So be careful with everything you do. There always should be a responsibility behind every personal choice.

Set limits for everything. If it goes beyond limits there comes a problem along. Think on these lines. You need an example? Rave Parties! I leave it to you on this.

Never try to impose your way of life on others, especially on women. Now a days smart crime is more, you do not rape a girl rather persuade her in some way, using her lack of awareness of consequences. This is cheaper than rape! To make someone trust and cheating them.

On a rainy evening if a girl wants to enjoy the nature in solitude, she cannot do it in a country like India. Every time we send our girl to a next town, we carry a fear as a brother, a sister, a husband, a father, a mother and even as a good friend, we worry about her safety in my mind.

Every society has a culture of their own, so women are free to choose theirs. But any culture without a limit is always doomed! All of us know USA provides freedom to women a lot, you do a search in google for rape crimes and murders in USA! That will tell you another story. Limitless freedom itself is not a solution. The solution is making individually, a disciplined and  collectively, a responsible society.

With hopes that we may see some day, some girl, may walk alone free in the rain, singing a melody and fade happily into shower of rain, on the dim shades of night street lights, I conclude this long long write up. Thanks for reading 🙂

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